2nd ultrasound

We had our 2nd ultrasound today and I was so relieved to get a peak at our babies again and see that everything (and everyone) is on track. The last 2.5 weeks we have been in Utah, so I couldn't have my follow-up any sooner. It was a busy and fun trip, but I was so anxious for the appointment. Every milestone we hit is major to me and helps me breathe a little easier. Our risk of miscarriage at this point is less than 5% and it will just keep going down.

I officially graduated from the RE today and will have my first OB appointment on Dec. 5 (seems forever away!). I have plenty to keep me busy though, because we are moving back to UT. I am headed back (by plane) in 9 days and then John will drive our car+all our stuff the next week.

Baby A measured 9w2d with a heart rate of 174 and Baby B is measuring 9w0d with a heart rate of 166. My doctor assured me that it is normal/ok to measure a couple of days apart and/or behind, so I am not worried. She said everything is progressing normally. I am anxious for my first appointment in UT and hopefully another peak at the babies. I will be having the NT screening on 12/6, so either way I will see them in a few weeks.

Here's the latest photo. She couldn't get a zoomed in shot of both at once, so she did a side-by-side photo for me.

First ultrasound

Today we had our first ultrasound. I was a little nervous going in, just hoping that baby would measure right on track and that we would see a little heartbeat.

John got to come in for the u/s and he could see the screen, but I could not. The tech asked me if how many embryos we transferred and I told her 2. She started the u/s and after a couple of minutes she said something like "yep, there they are" or something I couldn't quite hear and then told me she would be doing some more measurements of my ovaries, etc. So then I asked her if she did see the baby and she said yes and I said, "just one baby, right?" and she says, "no, 2 babies." And then I freaked out a little. She was so casual about it, like of course there are 2 babies. I was so shocked. Even though we did transfer 2, one of our embryos was lower quality and had some fragmentation, so it didn't have as high of probability for implantation. My initial blood hCG levels weren't crazy high or anything, so I was pretty sure it would be just one baby. Well, I was wrong.

2 sacs and 2 little heartbeats!

Both babies are measuring right on schedule at 6w3d and we saw two little heart beats. I don't remember the exact rates, but somewhere around 120-125bpm. There are 2 sacs, so they are fraternal twins, which means both our embryos implanted. I will have another u/s in 3 weeks to check their progress and then will "graduate" to an OBGYN after that.

We originally thought we would stay in MA for awhile still, but now we are planning to move back to UT pretty soon so I can start my prenatal care at 12 weeks and stay with the same OBGYN throughout the pregnancy, rather than having to switch part way through. Also because my sister and brother-in-law that have been living in our house now have the opportunity to help another family member and live in their house, so we don't want to hog the help and feel like we need to be close to family, especially now that we are having twins.

I am trying no to get too hung up on all the things that can still go wrong. They did tell me that 15% of early twin pregnancies go on to be a singleton due to a vanishing twin. We are hopeful that both babies will continue to grow strong though. It does mean that I will probably not make it to June for delivery and instead will have the babies sometime in May.

IVF #3 Cycle results

I am nervous to post this because I worry I will jinx things, but wanted to let the few of you that aren't my immediate family (since we have already told all of them) that follow my blog know that IVF#3 was a success and I am pregnant. The last few days have been pretty surreal and I still have a lot of fear and anxiety about all the things that could go wrong, but I am trying to take things one day at a time and just enjoy being pregnant each day. Of course I hope I have a long, boring, and uneventful 9 months.

I got my first positive test at home 8dp3dt and kept taking more tests, like a crazy person, each day until my blood test on the 5th (12dp3dt). My hCG level that day was 155, which they said was a good, strong number (they want it to be between 50-100). I had my second blood draw today, and it came back at 495. They want to see it doubling about every 48 hours, which it did. So no more blood draws for me and the next step will me my first ultrasound on 10/21. Hopefully we will be able to see the heartbeat at that point. I will stay under the care of my RE for a few more weeks and then will "graduate" to a regular OB. Our plan is to stay in MA for now, but likely we will head back to UT at some point so I can go back to work and because our long-term intent has always been to raise our kid(s) close to family. Lots of details to be worked out still, but I'm not stressing about any of that for now.

Most of my symptoms have been pretty mild, but I definitely have a few of them. The worst has been the bloating and fatigue. My appetite has changed a lot too, and I have to make myself eat throughout the day.

It feels a little weird to be telling people so early, but I have been so open about our infertility and so many people know we are/were doing IVF, so we want to also share our good news. We won't do a FB announcement until much later though, so if you want to send well wishes, please don't do it publicly on FB for now. :-)

Our EDD is 6/13/14 (Friday the 13th, but I'm not superstitious).

11dp3dt

Transfer

Yesterday was our 3-day transfer. The clinic was running right on time, so I was happy not to have an extra-long wait like I did last time. I did a 30-minute acupuncture session and right after they checked me in and took me back. Transfer is a lot easier than retrieval and much less involved. No IV, no fasting, and John got to be in the room too (though he did get to wear a sweet surgical outfit, hair net and all).

The doctor on duty talked to me about our embryos and told me we still had both and they were both 8 cells, which was great (most embryos are between 4-10 cells on day 3 with 6+ being more ideal). The embryos are also rated based on fragmentation. Just because an embryo has some fragmentation doesn't mean it won't grow into a normal and healthy baby. We had one fragmented embryo and one embryo with no significant fragmentation (which they said had a "high likelihood of implantation). We decided to transfer both because the risk of multiples is still pretty low, although not impossible. It felt like the right decision for us and we knew the likelihood of the second making it to freeze on day 5 was very low, so we wanted to give it a chance in hopes that it would grow better in its "natural environment." I don't know if that's really true, but it makes me feel better anyway.

My clinic doesn't require any strict bed rest, but I have been mostly on bed rest the last 2 days. I did another 30-minute acupuncture session right after the transfer and then we came home and I have been on the couch or in bed pretty much since. Tomorrow I will probably be up and about more, but I still can't lift anything heavy or do any strenuous activity. I am trying to focus all my positive energy on one or both of our embryos snuggling in cozy for the next 9 months. The next couple of weeks will be nerve wracking yet again, but I am going to try and stay busy, distracted, and positive.

ER/Fertilization report

Yesterday was egg retrieval and we got 6 eggs. That was consistent with the ultrasounds I had been having. Overall it went fine, except when they could get my IV in on the first try. Yay. I woke up in the same amount of pain as usual, but this time I didn't have them give me any IV pain meds. Last time I ended up super nauseous from that, so this time I just took extra-strength Tylenol and I was ok. I would rather be in a little more pain than have the nausea. It was funny because I was telling one of the nurses when I first woke up that the pain after ER is the worst part of IVF. Then I corrected myself and told him that dealing with my insurance, specifically Aetna Specialty Pharmacy, was the worst part of IVF. I kind of went off for a minute and a few minutes later when I was more with it, I had a good giggle about it.

Anyway, today I got the call that only 2 of the 6 fertilized. Not the best report and not nearly as good as last time, but 2 is better than none. We will definitely be doing a 3 day transfer on Monday (my clinic requires at least 4 embryos to push forward to a 5 day transfer) and we will transfer both if we still have both. I am trying to focus all my positive energy into our two embryos growing and staying strong over the next few days if you want to join me in my positive thinking. :-) But nobody should call me because if my phone rings, I will get nervous it is the lab calling to say they didn't make it. Maybe this is the worst part of IVF, worrying about my little embryos and hoping we make it to transfer.

IVF #3

Well I have been a huge blog slacker. Sorry to anyone who has been waiting for an update. I really do want to journal this process, for my own records and so I can easily share our journey with friends and family. I was in a pretty long funk though for awhile leading up to this cycle. I found it hard to get excited about doing it all again. I am so thankful to have another shot at this and to even have the opportunity to do IVF. The whole process is very draining though. I was excited that try #2 went so much better than try #1, so I thought I would be more hopeful going in to this cycle.

Anyway, I started stimming on 9/7. After 4 days of stims I already had a lead follicle at 14mm and then a 12mm and a 10mm so they started me on Ganirelix on stim day 5, which seemed pretty early to me. That meant ordering more Ganirelix and paying out of pocket because my insurance will only cover 4 vials in a 30 day period. I used 3 before the cycle even started as part of my suppression with estrogen priming. Luckily my nurse was also able to give me a couple of samples, so it wasn't too outrageous. Oh, and if I haven't mentioned here before, I absolutely hate Aetna and especially Aetna specialty pharmacy. I won't go it to the whole long story, but know that if I had any other choice, I would not use them. They have caused me a lot of added stress this cycle with messing up my medication order.

With having a lead follicle so early, there was talk I might trigger as early as stim day 9, which seemed too early for me. Luckily things slowed down a bit after starting the Ganirelix. My sister Rachel came for a long weekend visit and I would have been super sad to miss out on some time with her if I would have had to have my retrieval while she was here. It all worked out though and we had a fun weekend enjoying Boston, Plymouth, and Martha's Vineyard. I had a couple of monitoring appointments while she was here, but those were early enough that she was still sleeping when I got back.

So I ended up stimming for 11 days and triggered last night. I have 6 follicles between 14-23mm so hopefully we will end up with 6 eggs. There were a couple of small ones too (less than 12mm) so it's possible one or more could catch up. It's also possible that one or more of my follicles are cysts and don't have an egg at all. My estradiol level was low and slow to rise again, but it finally started doubling every 24 hours, so hopefully all is good there. I've really been trying not to stress or obsess about the numbers, but of course that is hard.

Egg retrieval is tomorrow morning. This is the first time it will be on a weekday morning, so we are scheduled early and will arrive at 7:00 for a 8:00am ER. Traffic is crazy headed north on weekday mornings, but we will leave at 6:00 and hope for the best. I will take it easy all weekend and we will either have the transfer Monday or Wednesday, but we are hoping for a 5-day transfer again.

I can't say that I am as excited as I should be, but I am feeling better than I was a couple of weeks ago. Having Rachel here was a much needed distraction and has helped lift my spirits. Maybe I will be more excited when we get lots of eggs tomorrow and hear a great fertilization report on Saturday. Each step of this process is stressful though, so please send all your positive thoughts and vibes our way that the next few days will bring lots of good news.

Rachel and me dipping our toes in the ocean at Martha's Vineyard at sunset

Me and Rachel in Boston at the Harbor

Cycle results/update

Sorry to anyone who has been waiting on an update for this cycle who isn't my immediate family that already heard the news that our cycle did not work. I had to check-out for a couple of days and tried not to spend much time online, then things were busy buying our new car, and then we went out of town.

So sorry to keep you hanging, but I found out on the 10th that our cycle was a bust when I started my period before I even went in for my blood pregnancy test (beta). My clinic has a policy that you still have to come in for your beta to make things official, since some women can have bleeding in early pregnancy. I had been testing at home for a couple of days and had negative tests, so I knew that the beta would be negative, and it was. Even though it was expected, it was still hard to go to the clinic that morning to be poked yet again for nothing. I took a couple of days to be sad and then I decided to move forward and not dwell on the failure.

Even though the cycle wasn't successful in that it resulted in pregnancy, we still had a lot of successes. We got 8 eggs. 7 were mature. 5 fertilized and made it to day 5. We also found out that we had 2 that were still growing on day 6 that were frozen (the other 2 had stopped growing). So all in all, things went so much better than our first IVF cycle and we made a lot of progress. I actually have hope again that this could work for us. Unfortunately, it is going to take trying again (hopefully just one more time) and moving forward. The other option is to give up, which just isn't really an option right now. This journey has been long and we have had so many bumps along the way, but I know it will be worth it when we have our baby.

I had a follow up appointment with my doctor last Wednesday and we decided to go ahead with another fresh cycle. We are going to keep our 2 blasts frozen for now and will hopefully add a couple of more to be frozen for more cycles in the future. My doctor still thinks our best chance for success is with a fresh cycle, so we will start over again. I will do the same protocol as last time with hopes of at least the same, if not even better, results. I will start my Estrogen Priming around Sept 2, assuming my body cooperates and I ovulate on "schedule" this month, since the timing of the next cycle isn't really solidified until ovulation is confirmed for this cycle. Hopefully I will start stimming around Sept 8-9th and ER will be around Sept 20th or so. We are planning a single embryo transfer (SET) again if we make it to day 5 again. We still feel very strongly that the risks of twins or high order multiples isn't worth transferring more than 1 for now and my doctor is on board.

So in the meantime, John and I are trying to have some fun and relax and enjoy the break from meds and shots and doctor appointments. We got our new car and took it on its first adventure this weekend and headed to Acadia National Park in Maine. We had a great time and we love our new car (Toyota RAV4). My back is mostly healed from the accident and all of that stress is nearly behind me. The weather had been beautiful in New England and super mild and we are loving it. So things are pretty good and that is what we are focusing on for now.

Acadia National Park-Maine