Days 4-7

For my first IVF, I was really into the details of my cycle. I kept a notebook with all the info on my meds, detailed list of the dosages I took, my appointments, and a bunch of notes. This time, not so much. I am just kind of going with the flow and trying not to obsess about numbers. That is easier said than done, but I'm definitely being a record keeping slacker. Even with this blog. It think it is partly because I have been distracted by the car accident and the aftermath from that. I am trying to be proactive and do what I can do to speed things along, but really I am just waiting for other people to do their jobs (like the police report filed) and the other driver to file a claim with his insurance. Today I saw my PCP and she recommended I see a chiropractor, so I have an appointment with him this Wednesday. I am so hoping that I am not going to need any kind of long-term treatment, but I am still having back pain almost a week after the accident. She also says I have PTSD because I am having anxiety when I drive. I have no choice but to drive because I have so many appointments, so I am trying to manage that best I can and hopefully it will subside soon. More than the physical aspect, the emotional and mental part has been hard on me. I can't help but worry that all of this extra stress is going to effect my cycle negatively or the need for any treatment will delay things. So I haven't been online much and I'm just trying to take it easy each day, take my meds, and just chill out.

Anyway, as far as my cycle, things are going okay. I have 3 follicles on the left and 1 on the right and they are between 11-13mm. My E2 on Sunday was 104 (which I know sounds low, but up from 39 last Thursday). Hopefully my follicles will continue to grow together and my E2 will continue to rise and we will actually be able to retrieve 4 eggs. I know the numbers sound so low, but anything more than 1 egg retrieved will be an improvement from last cycle. For now, it doesn't seem like I have any cysts this time, so that is also good. I will continue stims for two more nights and have my next check on Wednesday morning. I also add the Ganirelix shot tonight, so I am now on 3 meds: Bravelle 300IU, Menopur 150IU and the Ganirelix. It seems a little early for the Ganirelix, but I am trusting my doctor and not worrying about those details. I am worried about running out of Menopur and Ganirelix though, since my insurance vial manages and limits the number I can get (they don't even give me what my doctor prescribes, weird and annoying) so I will likely need to order more and pay my $250 co pay again or pay out of pocket if they won't approve coverage. Also, my nurse that handles all that for me is not in and has been out for about a week now. I know, one more thing to worry about.

If you are reading this and you think I sound like a basket case, you are probably right. Just writing things down does help me feel better, but I know I need to not worry and just take it easy. I wish I knew the magical way to do that. I can't even go to the gym right now because I am not supposed to aggravate my back injury and walking for too long or even sitting for too long causes more pain. My doctor today said I could do yoga though and that stretching should be good for my back. Hopefully the chiro will recommend some other things too. I also might get a massage or something else this week. I went to acupuncture on Sunday and that helped and I will go again before the retrieval. But I do understand better now why the number one reason women stop pursuing fertility treatment is stress. Followed by financial concerns. But don't even get me started on that. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Seriously. On that note, the pool in my back yard is calling my name.

Oh, and for a little inspiration, I found this on Pinterest and have been repeating it to myself often the last few days.

Yes.